Horrible Fanfiction #149: Dibra (part 2), an Invader Zim fanfic

As a couple of you pointed out, the first chapter of this fic is pretty tame for HFF. Don’t worry; here is where the story takes a dive into the deep end of the Stupid Pool.

By the way, the author is rewriting this fic. I’ve only glanced at the rewritten version; it’s better-written, but I’m not sure how much it ultimately differs from/improves on this version. Maybe I’ll do a review of it once I’m done MSTing this.

Anyways, onward.

Chapter 1

I’m surprised by how well people like this. Posted only a couple days ago and I already have 6 review saying how much people like it.

People like this? I, too, am surprised.

I figured I’d update again, I’m already working on chapter 5, so why not. The only reason I’m even writing this at all is because I need a break from my South Park story sometimes.

The author makes a big deal out of how little she cares about this story, huh? Seems as if she herself is aware that it’s crappy.

Disclaimer – I don’t own Invader Zim. If I did, do you honestly think it would have been cancelled?

If you did own it, it should have been cancelled.

Chapter 1 – Good Morning

I doubt it will be a good morning, but alright.

(Dib’s POV)

I hear my computer alarm go off. It’s my current favorite song of the week, Odd One by Sick Puppies. It really speaks to me, but whatever.

Author: “I listened to that song on repeat while writing this, but whatever.”

I don’t think IRL!bands exist in the Zim universe. If they do… well, they’re probably shitty, like most everything else in the Zim universe.

What really throws me off is the fact I’m not asleep on the roof like I should be, instead I am in my bedroom.

You’d think he’d go through a moment of “wait a minute, shouldn’t I be on the roof?” Most people, when waking up, default to assuming that their surroundings are their usual surroundings. For weeks after moving to a new house, I was surprised not to be waking up in my old bedroom. Dib, waking up in his bed — where we can presume he normally wakes up — should take a minute to remember that, actually, he fell asleep on the roof.

“How the hell did I get down here?” I ask myself out loud. Either dad or Gaz cared enough to get me off the roof or I sleepwalked off the roof and into my room. 

Or you got up during the night, returned to your room, fell asleep and forgot about the whole thing. Could happen. Seems the most likely, actually.

Or it’s Zim’s doing somehow. Wouldn’t that be Dib’s automatic assumption? Even if it makes no sense?

Neither are very likely, since A) my father and sister both hate me and think I’m insane. And B) if I sleepwalked to my room I would have fallen off the roof and died…or at least broken something.

It would probably have been a better story if he did fall off the roof and die.

I shrug, I’ll figure it out later. I pull back my dark blue bed sheets and hop out of bed. Turing off my alarm, I type in another Sick Puppies song. War began playing throughout my room. 

No one gives a shit, author. I know music can be a huge inspiration when writing, but, for the most part, your readers do not care. Also, your writing doesn’t seem terribly inspired, anyway.

I begin singing along as I dig through my closet for my First-Day-Back-To-Skool Outfit.

You mean, the same thing you wear every day, Dibbers?

Time is up
Out of luck
Should have stood up
When you had the time
But you’re out of time

Great. Song lyrics. Just what we needed to improve this story.

I pull out a shirt and check it for stains or tears. It looks ok and doesn’t stink, so I throw it on my bed.

That’s one way to deal with your clothing, I guess.

Get ready to settle the score
And get ready to face the floor
Cause it’s time to remember it (war!)

Satisfied with the jeans I’m holding, I proceed to put on my clothes. 

Jeans? Don’t tell me — does Dib have a new outfit now?

A red t-shirt with an indifferent face that has black hair covering an eyeball, a pair of dark blue (almost black) skinny jeans with some chains hanging from a couple belt loops. 

He does. And it’s very emo. Fantastic.

To finish off the look I have my black trench coat and a pair of black and red converse shoes. Thankfully my trench coat covers my wrists, so I don’t have to worry about anyone seeing them.

Strangely enough, my clothes don’t fit like they should. 

Okay, you guys all know that the twist is that Dib’s got a female body now, right?

Allow me to point out a few things:

  • First of all, Dib should notice this upon undressing, if not before. We don’t know how much older he is now, but, assuming it’s a few years after canon events, his newly female body probably has breasts. And, look, you don’t just not notice suddenly gaining a pair of tits. If you aren’t supporting them with a bra (which of course Dib isn’t), furthermore, they’re going to bounce when you move. All that aside, he should at least notice the difference when he takes his shirt off.
  • Maybe he’s not changing his boxers at this point, but wouldn’t you notice suddenly not having a dick? Come on.
  • Dib was just singing along to a song. Does he not notice having a higher voice now?

My shirt is way to small for me, and my jeans, trench coat, and shoes feel way to big. To prove their point, my jeans fall off my frame and pool down at my feet. Even my boxers threaten to fall, but I hold them up before they can.

That doesn’t make any sense. Female-bodied people typically have wider hips. If anything, he shouldn’t be able to get his pants up over his hips now. Even if he doesn’t have wider hips, he shouldn’t have narrower ones.

As for the thing about the shirt, I assume he means it’s too tight across the chest. So Dib has boobs, and they are large. Why hasn’t he noticed?

I pull my pants back up and make my way to the bathroom. I don’t even turn on the light when I enter, my dad keeps forgetting to replace the main light bulb and I’m to lazy to give a shit. Instead I flip the light switch by the sink. What I see freaks me out and I give a really loud scream before passing out into darkness.

Congratulations, Dib. You have boobs. Scary, huh?

Yep another short chapter. Like I said, they will be short for awhile.

Only a while? Why not always?

I really don’t have anything else to say at this point. Review about how much you like or hate it. Honestly could care less.

Mega mean flamers will be used to roast hot dogs stolen from your own fridges. 

I don’t have any hot dogs in my fridge. Sorry.

Yes…I know where you live, and I will find your hot dogs. 3:)

Right. Okay.

Well, this chapter made much less sense than the first one. Will the next chapter continue this trend and make even less sense than this one does? Probably.

Continue reading here.

8 Responses to “Horrible Fanfiction #149: Dibra (part 2), an Invader Zim fanfic”

  1. I’ve missed your MSTS
    I haven’t read one in ages, these are the funniest things ever, they just make my day.

  2. Oh, Lady Dib is so Goff Emo… He (or I guess it’s “she”, now… I’m gonna have pronoun trouble) needs to listen to MCR and Avril Lavinge…

  3. randomportalfan Says:

    Oh dear lord, is this one of those “It was all a dream” stories? That would explain why he didn’t wake up on the roof

  4. The Overlord Says:

    I’m guessing his mother did this to him, or something. After all, he was only talking about her frequently during the last chapter.

  5. CaveStoryNinja Says:

    Congrats, Dib. You now have tits. Way to make a great wish.

    Damn, IZ is not the world to genderbend in… This is fucking weird.

  6. I just now realized that “Dibra” is supposed to be Dib’s female name, a play on “Deborah”. I thought the author was just trying to be creative and use a weird title.

  7. I’m so glad you started posting these again! I love your MSTs, especially your IZ ones. They’re excellent.
    I am also wondering how the bloody hell this got reviews. Positive ones, at least.

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