Surviving Middle School at Aperture Science MST
Any fic with its own section deserves a proper introduction, so here goes:
Surviving Middle School at Aperture Science is, as the name suggests, a middle school AU fic. Kind of. It’s based on the RP games the author (BoomerangFlower123) and her friends play. Though I’ve only read a few chapters in, from what I have read it’s OOC, nonsensical, and involves the Portal cast in middle-schooler bodies, so that’s reason enough to spork it.
I’ve read some reviews, and while the story has its fans it’s also attracted a fair bit of criticism. Perhaps the fact that it has fans means that the author started doing something right in the chapters I haven’t read, or perhaps she has fans simply because there are always people who like poorly conceived fanfiction. This is either going to be bad through and through, which could make an amusing MST, or it’s going to be a mixed bag, which could make an amusing MST. Either way, get ready for some amusement, Halfworlders! If this isn’t amusing enough then that’s my fault and you can demand a refund.
This chapter of the MST was written a while ago (back in January, actually), so keep that in mind. Alright, off we go!
Hello! This is my 1st story, and I intend it to be at least 20 Chapters long.
First sentence of the author’s note and I’m already wishing this was over. TWENTY CHAPTERS LONG?
Someone’s got to stop her. Someone please make her stop before she gets that far. I can’t take twenty chapters of preteen Portal characters doing whatever it is preteen Portal characters do.
I’m gonna make tons of stories.
I love Portal, so that’s where I’ll begin.
I love Portal, and I don’t want you to begin there. Begin somewhere else. Like, for example… um… how about just… not beginning? At all? Ever?
Thanks, and enjoy!
(By the way, this takes place after the events of Portal 2.)
I almost put a “spoilers for Portal 2” alert at the beginning of this post, but then I realized that Portal 2 has been out for over a year so I really ought to stop doing that.
Chell was still wandering. That obviously got boring after about a week or so (only since she hadn’t been outside for, like, 20 years) so she decided to head back into Aperture.
You know, writing Chell in character shouldn’t be difficult at all, in theory. She barely has any canon personality to begin with. All we know about her is that she’s incredibly tenacious, tough as nails, silent out of stubbornness rather than some vocal defect (according to the writers), and her dad worked at Aperture. That’s only a handful of traits you need to stick to in order to write her convincingly, yet this author manages to immediately screw it up. Chell, remember, is one stubborn lady. She wouldn’t just waltz back into Aperture unless she had a very good reason, and she wouldn’t be wandering around on the surface either. She’d figure out her next course of action and take it, not drift around aimlessly before returning to Aperture out of boredom.
Hey, Chell thought. Maybe they’ll give me cake! I am so hungry, and GLaDOS totally owes me for promising cake and then trying to drop me into a fiery pit of death. Oh darn. I forgot; The Cake Is a Lie.
You’d think that being around GLaDOS for extended periods of time would give you a better understanding of how sarcasm works.
My sense of Chell as a character is that she’s very pragmatic in her approach to things. It’s part of what makes her such a good test subject. She wouldn’t be thinking “Oh hey maybe I’ll go back there and get cake or something oh right it’s a lie LOL”, because that’s a waste of her time and doesn’t make sense, since she knows she isn’t going to get the cake and that going back to Aperture in search of cake would be a rather silly course of action.
So she wandered her way back to Aperture, dying of hunger….. for cake.
Rather. Silly. Course of action.
Why did she want cake so bad, you wonder? Well, she hadn’t eaten in what, 20 years or so?
I believe you mean . And it’s “badly”, not “bad”, author. Grammar is a nice thing and is not a lie. Please use it in the future.
Finally, she found the shed. Companion Cube lay burned on the ground.
So, she just… left it there? In front of the shed? She didn’t try to take it with her? The hell.
I know this is minor, but this goes against my headcanon.
She kissed it and apologized for murdering it.
Did she apologize for abandoning it in front of a shed for a week, too? Because I think she ought to do that.
She explained that she couldn’t pass unless she burned her best buddy.
If Companion Cube can hear Chell saying this, it could also have heard GLaDOS saying what Chell needed to do in order to complete the test. I’m just saying.
She picked it up. It was quite a bit heavier than it was when the Portal Gun held it.
Yeah, well, it ain’t called the Weighted Companion Cube for nothin’.
She stumbled around, trying to carry it back into the science institute. The door was open a crack. Obviously GLaDOS had slammed it so hard that it was open just enough to get back inside of Aperture.
Chell was relieved. She could finally see GLaDOS and Wheatley (oh wait, he was in space with Space Core) and ATLAS and P-body…. She was overjoyed.
“Yay! I’m going to see the enormous sentient supercomputer who kept trying to murder me and two robots who I only saw once and shouldn’t even know the names of! THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE!”
How did she just forget that Wheatley is in space? That seems kind of memorable.
The elevator started to head down. Her stomach lurched. Would GLaDOS still try to kill her?
Maybe you should have thought about that one earlier.
She was Still Alive, and Wanted Her Gone.
What, no Cara Mia reference?
It was too late now…. Fate had to take its way.
This author’s version of Chell would never have been able to survive testing. “Huh, maybe I shouldn’t have jumped out in front of those turrets. Oh well! I guess fate has to take its way!”