Horrible Fanfiction #84: Me in Invader Zim? Oh Kami, an Invader Zim fanfic

Good [time of day here], Halfworlders.

I realize it’s actually been a while since I MSTed an Invader Zim fic, not counting the last chapter of Half-Irkens, so when this fic was sent in (accompanied by the promise that it contained an extraordinary Mary Sue) I was eager to start MSTing it.

Upon glancing at this first chapter, however, I realize that it also has absolutely no Invader Zim characters in it.

I’m guessing that this will be rectified soon — probably one of those “fangirl gets sent to IZ universe” fics. However, for now, let’s meet our cast of OCs, which will no doubt star some version of author “sinkittytail”.

Me in invader zim? Oh kami…

I don’t know what “Oh kami…” means and I don’t really care.

Also, the fact that she didn’t even bother to use proper capitalization in the title does not bode well.

Beep! Beep! Beep! Beep! “stupid clock” I groaned. I got up and went to get ready. About 23 minutes later I was dressed in dark jeans, a black t-shirt that said ‘I is the shirt’, and grey converse. 

Let’s take a closer look, shall we?

  • The author gives an oddly specific number of minutes. I wouldn’t be raising my eyebrows at 20 or 25, seeing as those are multiples of 5 and are often given as rough estimates, but either she’s decided that it took her character somewhere between 20 and 25 minutes to do her morning routine or she’s actually timed herself doing this.
  • “I is the shirt”? Seriously?
  • I really hope this author isn’t going to be one of the ones who spends endless amounts of time describing what their OCs look like. Though so far I think we’re okay. The outfit description was reasonable, and no physical description as of yet.

Overall, not an awful beginning. But I don’t have high hopes for this.

I went to the kitchen and made myself a bowl of captain crunch. I looked at the clock 7:39. ‘I better hurry up’ I thought. 

Yeah, you better, the readers are getting bored.

I breathed down my bowl of cereal and flew out the door (I didn’t really fly), my midnight black hair flowing behind me. 

Since there isn’t a note, I’m going to assume that the author-insert OC really did breathe down her bowl of cereal.

*15 minutes later*

I ran to my locker and put in my backpack, took my binders and ran to first period. “Sin!” I grinned as I saw my friends Rachel, Mizuki, and Olivia. “sup” I said. 

Well, that’s not surprising given the author’s username. Now all she needs is a kitty tail.

…Don’t tell me. She is gonna get a kitty tail, isn’t she? Oh dear lord.

How much you wanna bet that all three of these friends are based on the author’s real-life friends? Assuming she has real-life friends, of course.

Olivia is my best friend she really is my cousin, but we’re really close. She has shoulder length black hair, chocolate brown eyes, Rachel has long blond hair with dark blue eyes, Mizuki has long black in a pony tail with dark eyes and I have black hair that goes a little bit under my shoulders with ice blue eyes. 

Well, at least the poorly written physical descriptions didn’t take too long.

Ding dong “dang it!” I yelled. 

Am I the only one who thinks “ding dong dang it” is kind of catchy?

I waved to my friends and said “I’ll see you at lunch!” and ran to class.

Congratulations, author, no one cares.

~at lunch~

“WOOOHOOOO PIZZZAAAAAA!” I screamed. People looked at me like I was weird. 

HUH, I WONDER WHY.

“I’m normal…” I said ‘normally’. 

Quoting Zim does not make this an Invader Zim fanfic, author.

My friends laughed and Olivia said “You watch to many invader zim” 

I totally read this as “You want to marry Invader Zim.”

Also, should be “too much”, not “to many”.

“I now” I said grinning. 

Know. Not now.

You really don’t have to impress upon us how much of a Zim fan you are, author. We got that from the fact that you’re writing fanfiction. Though so far that’s debatable.

(I murdered my pizza) 

You monster.

“look it’s the weirdos!” “grrrr” I turned my head “oh great it’s the wicked witch of the west” Olivia mumbled. Avery. Avery Carter. Cheerleader. 

Of course, the main character’s bitchy nemesis is a cheerleader. That isn’t clichéd at all.

I twitched. ” look at that freaky twitchy thing she does with her eye!” One of her clones May said 

“Like, she’s so cool! Her eye is twitching like she’s a Jhonen Vasquez character! Ehmagawd, she’s so edgy and stuff!”

I’m starting to dislike this author. A lot.

“why don’t you just leave us alone?” I growled clenching my fists. “OMG!” “It can talk!” they screeched. 

What, did she just say her first words? Because otherwise I don’t see why they thought she couldn’t talk.

This was gonna get ugly.

It already did, you pizza-murdering eye-twitcher.

Chapter one.

Pro tip: You should inform the readers of the chapter number at the beginning of the chapter, not the end.

Sin: wow! That was short! 

Thankfully so.

I promise it will be longer next chapter! 

FFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUU—

*gets on knees* pwease reweveiw.

No.

Continue reading here.

10 Responses to “Horrible Fanfiction #84: Me in Invader Zim? Oh Kami, an Invader Zim fanfic”

  1. dragonkeeper19600 Says:

    “Oh, kami.” Hmmm… It might be a reference to Okami, the video game, but if so, then it’s a very confused, weak reference.

    Also, I’ve heard the “It can talk!” line before. (Though not directed at me.) It usually means that they thought the target was dumb, like an ape or something.

    Probably, these are real insults that she got thrown in real life, and she had these one-dimensional characters repeat it so she can act out her own revenge fantasy.

    You know, probably.

    • Oh, I absolutely agree with the revenge-fantasy thing. Check out chapter 2. O.o

      Kami, as it turns out, means God in Japanese. Another reader informed me.

      It’s not so much the line as the tone — the cheerleader girls said it as if it genuinely startled them, not as if to imply that they thought Sin was stupid or subhuman. Bad writing, yay…

      • “Kami” is closer to “god” than “God”. You would normally call God “Kami-sama”, though you can also call any random god “Kami-sama”.

  2. Maybe it’s just because I’ve read so much crap on your blog, but that didn’t seem TOO bad. We shall see what this brings in the future.

  3. Dangit, Kami just reminds me of DBZ now. Nehhh.

    Kami’s like the guardian of earth. I’m not sure if she’s referencing DBZ or just the Japanese word for ‘god’.

    Either way, it’s entirely too japanesy.

  4. Cheddar the Beffuzzled Japanese Says:

    Kami is Japanese for god. So it would be ‘oh god’. Except according to my Sensei, it would be ‘etoo kami’. I guess she was trying to seem cool by using a random japanese word or something.

  5. “People looked at me like I was weird.”

    Is it sad that I was expecting the next line to be “I put up my middle finger at them?”

  6. LymePretz♪ Says:

    Ahhh crap this sounds like me 0-0
    *Obsessed with cats, would be a furry/anthro if I could
    *I have long brunette hair
    *I have a cousin named Olivia O-o
    *I have 3 main friends I hang out with
    Oh my kami. (geddit)

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